I feel…I am lonely
Even next to you,
You are far away.
Something is different.
I feel it when you touch me…When you don’t touch me.
You don’t kiss me the way you use to, the way we use to.
You pull AWAY
Or hasten it so it’s done.
I feel so rejected, so vile, so alone.
I cry when I’m completely by myself.
I stare in the mirror
Looking myself over inch by inch
Finding every imperfection
Making myself sick
Cursing myself for it all
But I dare not say anything
I stay silent
I push my needs, my desire, my want
They are all pushed down into the depths
Shadows swallow them whole
So there I sit
Being loving
Being understanding
Being patient
Smiling through it all
Hating myself for feeling the way I do
Every touch
Teasing or tame
Makes me ache
I am lonely
But here I remain
