Lost

Alice once said, “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” 

She had it right.   We’re all different people day to day.   Now, don’t get me wrong, there are some people who stagnate.   

I’m starting to wonder and become afraid that what if I’m one of those people?   I’m not who I use to be.  That is very true.  Every day I try to be better than I was the day before.  But it seems like I never succeed.   I’m lost.   My compass is spinning and will not point to the right path that will lead me to who I am to become.  

I haven’t felt this lost in a long time.  I use to know exactly who I was, who I wanted to become.  Now, I’m lost and afraid.   I see things creeping into my mind from the shadows that I thought were long gone.   I am fighting my demons every day, but I am losing ground.  My sword is too heavy.

I need help.  I’m afraid.  I’m so afraid.  Please help me.  I am crying out to God to help me carry my sword.

Please.  I don’t want to be lost.