At a Loss

*Language and Trigger warning*

I stand there with a shovel looking down at the dirt

“Start digging!”

He pushes me forward

I start digging

I hear them talking

Laughing at me

I keep digging 

The sweat starts to form on my brow

It’s hot

I stop for a moment

“I said dig, bitch”

One of them kicks the back of my knee

I drop the shovel

I fall to my knees

My hands catch me

“Get up!”

I push myself back up

Grab the shovel

Keep digging

Don’t make them mad.

“Turn around”

I turn to face them

Shovel in hand 

Ready to defend myself

It’s too easy 

The shovel ripped away from me

One of them rips part of my dress away

Bare feet in the soil

I cover myself

“Pathetic.”

“Worthless.”

“You are nothing.”

One of them shoves me

I land on my back

Knocking the wind out of me

I lay there staring up at them

They’re laughing at me

I struggle to sit up

I can’t climb out 

I lie back down 

This is where I’m left 

This is where I’ll stay